RAND PAUL IS A PANDA!! ENTERS POLITICAL RACE FOR THE FILTHY PANDA RACE

Rand Paul, the first ever Panda candidate for US Office (Russia and Tibet already did this). Also, RAND PAUL IS A PANDA!!!
SHARE SO EVERYONE CAN KNOW THE TRUTH!!!

Starbucks Hates Pandas!

In their latest push for world peace, social justice, less assholes and more publicity, Starbucks has ordered their baristas to begin writing "Why Panda?" on all their clients cups. The goal of the movement is to help raise awareness and start up conversation regarding how much of a bitch pandas are. The somewhat confusing and open-ended question will hopefully incite discussion between baristas and their customers everywhere in each Starbucks location for a couple minutes. Hopefully this will cause a mass genocide of all those bitchy pandas.

Former Child Star Arrested in DUI/Overdose/Homicide/General Public Meanacing

Former child star of Kungfu-Panda (2008, Dreamworks) arrested in joint DUI, Marijuana Overdose and Homicide. Also arrested by hardworking cops for being a panda. Three dogs, two cats and a cop were killed in his capture. A silent parade in their honor will be held sometime.




Sources:
This is legit shit

Panda Attempts to Interrupt Beck at Grammys

Panda says Beck stole the shiny thing from Beyonce.
Beck says he still loves Panda and aspires to be Panda one day. 

Sources:
this shit happened